Chasing Jesus When My Life Fell Apart

I want to share a piece of my story with you, Faith Under Fire community, because I know some of you are living in a place where you feel like you can barely breathe.

There was a time when my entire life collapsed at once.

My husband had left. My marriage broke. I did not know if we would stay married, and I did not know if he would ever come back. I was alone, at my lowest, and I remember being on my knees crying out for help.

In that moment, I reached for my Bible. I opened it with a heart that was desperate, not polished.

The first words that I opened to:

“Do not fret.”

At the time, those words felt impossible. They even felt offensive.

How do you not fret when your husband leaves?

How do you not fret when your future disappears overnight?

How do you not fret when your life crashes in front of you?

But looking back now, I can see that this is often how God begins. Not with a full explanation, but with an invitation to trust Him one moment at a time.

Crying Out to God

There was one particular day during that season when I walked out to our pool area and sat looking up at the sky. I got my questions out loud and unfiltered.

Why? Why? Why me?

There were tears. There was anger. There was confusion. Then silence.

At that time, I did not have a real relationship with Jesus yet. I did not know how to pray with faith. I did not know what it meant to surrender. I only knew I was hurting and I needed help.

I remember feeling a sudden urge to walk across the yard to a pile of weeds and start pulling them. Not gently. Not calmly. I ripped them out of the ground while crying and releasing every ounce of pain I had been carrying.

Somewhere in the middle of that emotional storm, I experienced what I can only describe as God giving me a clear inner picture. A vision. A promise.

I sensed God showing me that my marriage would be restored. That my husband who left would return and ask to come back.

At the time, this made no logical sense. There was no guarantee reconciliation would happen. And if I am honest, I was not even certain reconciliation was what I wanted.

But God often speaks long before we recognize His voice.

Romans 8:24 reminds us that hope that is seen is not hope at all. Real hope begins when we cannot yet see the outcome.

When God’s Promises Take Time

That moment happened in 2015. And now, in 2026, I can say I am seeing and experiencing what God promised in that season.

But I need you to hear this clearly. It did not happen quickly.

It took seven years for what God showed me to come to fruition.

Seven years of growth. Seven years of prayer. Seven years of learning who Jesus really is.

Seven years is a long time to wait for a promise. But God’s timing rarely matches human expectations. What feels delayed to us is often preparation in God’s hands.

Scripture reminds us in Habakkuk 2:3 that a vision may take time to fulfill, but it will not prove false. It may linger, but we are called to wait for it. And Isaiah 55:8 reminds us that His ways and His thoughts are higher than ours.

During those years, God also gave me writing assignments. I wrote three books in my Voice of Faith series, and I believe there will be a fourth book one day, when God tells me it is time.

What Happens When You Start Chasing Jesus

In that season, I began reading the Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I wanted to learn who Jesus is and what He is like.

This is what I discovered. The more you pursue Jesus, the more clearly you see Him. Scripture promises that when we draw near to God, He draws near to us (James 4:8).

God already knows us because He created us. Yet many people do not realize that chasing Jesus can actually be joyful. He is loving. He is part of the Trinity. He walks with us daily and begins to change our hearts from the inside out.

Over time, something changes inside. Prayer becomes natural. Scripture becomes alive. God reshapes thoughts, emotions, and desires. Faith stops feeling distant and begins feeling personal.

Chasing Jesus is not dry or boring. As my relationship with Him grew, my heart began to awaken, and I started sensing God’s presence everywhere.

I started sensing Him with me everywhere, even in the car, and throughout the day. I felt like I kept catching glimpses of His silhouette beside me, as if He was physically walking with me through my day.

Jesus was no longer someone I was only reading about. He became the One I was learning to walk with.

Fixing Your Eyes on Jesus

Life will always bring seasons that feel heavy. Circumstances can look grim. Relationships can struggle. Fear can whisper lies.

This is why Hebrews 12:2 tells believers to fix their eyes on Jesus. Not occasionally. Not only when life feels easy. Always.

A Daily Prayer of Surrender

One practical shift that helped me was removing distractions. Silence creates space for God to speak.

I stepped away from social media for a season and focused on Jesus. The quieter my world became, the clearer my heart became.

I put a picture of Jesus on my bedroom wall as a reminder to refocus, and I prayed day after day asking God what to do next.

I surrendered. Truly surrendered. Not just my pain, but my whole life.

One prayer I began to pray daily was simple:

“Lord, please use me. Use my life for Your purposes.”

Romans 12:1 tells us to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice. We stop treating our lives as if they belong only to us and begin living with open hands.

God works through surrendered hearts, through willing hands, through ordinary people who say yes. And often, He uses other people to help shape and heal us. Community is part of His design.

Start the Pursuit Today

Faith does not begin with perfection. It begins with pursuit.

Start chasing Jesus with love, obedience, and trust. Trust that His plan is better than your own. Trust that His timing is perfect. Trust that His love never fails.

John 3:16 tells us that God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son, so that whoever believes in Him would not perish but have eternal life.

That love is not theoretical. It is personal.

When you really think about it, we are vessels meant to carry Christ. When you invite Him to live and move within you, He begins to work through your life in powerful ways.

Ask yourself today if you are willing to let Jesus dwell within you and lead you. Let Him use your life and let His Word become your wisdom.

If you do not know where to start, begin with this prayer:

“Lord, I surrender my life to You. Fill my heart, lead my steps, and work through me for Your purposes. Let Your thoughts shape my mind, Your Word guide my decisions, and Your Spirit live within me. Use my life to reflect You today.”

God can do a lot with a willing heart. He is closer than you think.

Love and light to you always,

Heather M Larribas

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