Surrender: What It Really Means When God Asks You to Let Go
- Heather M Larribas
- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
We hear the word surrender a lot in Christian circles.
“Just surrender it to God.”
“Give it to Jesus.”
“Let Him handle it.”
But if we are being honest, surrender can feel confusing.
Does it mean we stop caring?
Does it mean we sit back and hope everything magically works out?
Or does it mean something deeper, something harder?
No.
Surrender is choosing to place what you cannot control into the hands of the One who can.
For me, surrender did not look like peace at first. It looked like a battle inside my heart.
Because surrender does not always mean you get what you are praying for.
Sometimes surrender means you stop fighting for something God is asking you to release.
And that is where the real faith begins.
I Thought I Was Surrendering… But I Was Still Holding On
In my own walk with God, I truly believed I had surrendered. I was convinced I had been surrendering for years.
When my marriage broke in 2015, it felt like my world shattered. In 2016, I began chasing Jesus with my whole heart. I wanted healing, restoration, and redemption.
I kept telling God:
“Take it. Take it. Take it.”
“I trust You.”
“I surrender.”
But if I am being honest, I would find myself grabbing onto anything I could to try to save my marriage.
One moment I was praying. The next moment I was panicking.
I would fight for my marriage with everything in me. I would plead. I would try to convince. I would push counseling. I would try one more conversation, one more chance, one more effort.
I told myself I was giving it to God, but deep down I still believed it was my responsibility to hold it together.
It was like a spiritual teeter-totter.
One day I surrendered. The next day I tried to take it back.
And if you have ever lived there, you know how exhausting it is.
Faith Can’t Thrive Where Control Is Still King
One of the hardest parts of walking with God is realizing this truth:
You can’t fully surrender while still trying to control the outcome.
And this is where many believers get stuck.
We love Jesus.
We pray.
We worship.
We believe.
But deep down, we still want to decide how things should turn out.
We want God’s will… as long as it matches our plan.
We want peace… as long as it doesn’t cost too much.
We want obedience… as long as it still protects our comfort.
But surrender is not God agreeing with us. Surrender is us agreeing with God.
In my own walk with God, I started noticing something God was doing in my husband’s life.
There would be small signs.
Small moments.
Small glimpses that made me think, “Maybe God is working.”
And every time I saw hope, I held tighter.
I wanted God’s will, but only if it matched my plan.
And I did not fully realize that until God allowed the situation to move beyond what I could fix. There came a point where my fight could not change the outcome anymore.
That is when surrender became real.
Surrender Is When You Accept You Are Not in Control
There is a difference between praying for something and trying to force something.
At first, I believed surrender meant I trusted God while still fighting to keep the relationship alive.
But surrender actually happened when I realized this truth:
I could not fight for something that was no longer mine to fight for.
Eventually, my husband moved on with his life.
And in 2022, I reached a moment where I had no power left to manipulate the story or rewrite the ending.
It was painful.
It was humbling.
It did not make sense.
But that was the moment I finally understood surrender.
Surrender is not the absence of heartbreak.
Surrender is choosing obedience even while your heart is breaking.
And for me, God led me into a completely new season. A completely different state. A new path.
I did not understand it.
I did not feel ready.
But I knew I had to obey.
God Does Not Promise to Save Every Relationship, But He Promises to Be Faithful
Let me say something clearly, because it matters.
Surrender does not mean God will save every marriage.
It does not mean every relationship will be restored.
It does not mean every friendship will survive.
It does not mean every family dynamic will be healed in the way we want.
The Bible does not promise that every relationship will be restored.
God can restore anything.
He is the God of miracles.
But He also honors free will.
And not every person will choose what is right, healthy, or holy.
But God does promise something even stronger. He promises He will not waste your pain.
Romans 8:28 says:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
That does not mean everything is good.
It means God is working even when it is not.
The Balloon Test
I once described surrender like holding a balloon in your hand.
You grip it so tightly because you are terrified that if you let it go, you will never get it back.
And God keeps whispering:
“Let go.”
“Let Me lead.”
“Trust Me.”
Sometimes we cling to the balloon because we are afraid of losing it.
But what we do not realize is that surrender is not always loss.
Sometimes surrender is release.
And if it is God’s will, He is fully capable of bringing it back to you in His timing and in His way.
When God knows you have truly surrendered, He begins to work in ways you cannot orchestrate.
He is capable of doing something better than you could imagine, even if it does not look like what you wanted.
Surrender Is for Everyone
At some point, every single one of us will be invited into surrender.
Not just in marriage.
It could be:
A friendship that changed
A family relationship you cannot fix
A child you cannot control
A diagnosis you did not see coming
A dream that feels delayed
A door that closed without explanation
A calling that requires a scary step of faith
A season of waiting that feels unfair
Surrender is not reserved for “super Christians.”
It is part of being a disciple.
Jesus Himself modeled surrender.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, He prayed:
“Not my will, but Yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)
That is not a comfortable prayer.
It is a costly one.
But it is the path to freedom.
Surrender Doesn’t Mean Life Gets Easy
One of the biggest misconceptions in Christian culture is that surrender guarantees comfort.
It does not.
Sometimes surrender brings more unknowns, not fewer.
But surrender does bring something deeper:
Peace that does not depend on circumstances.
Strength that does not come from striving.
Stability when everything feels unstable.
God uses trials to refine us, mature us, and shape us into the image of Christ.
And as painful as it is, hardship is often where our faith becomes real.
If everything always went perfectly, we would not seek Him.
We would not need Him.
We would not learn trust.
But God is a Father, not a vending machine.
He is shaping sons and daughters, not just solving problems.
An Invitation
If you are holding onto something tightly right now, I want to ask you this:
What is God asking you to surrender?
And what would it look like to release it, not with bitterness, but with trust?
Surrender is not you losing your life.
Surrender is you placing your life back into the hands of the One who gave it to you.
And He is not careless with what you give Him.
He is faithful.
He is kind.
He is close to the brokenhearted.
And He is working,
even in what you cannot see.
Closing Prayer
Lord, teach us how to surrender.
Not with fear, not with forced religion, but with trust.
Help us release what we cannot control.
Help us obey when it does not make sense.
And remind us that Your plans are good, even when the process is painful.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
If this spoke to you, stay with me.
I’m going to share more on surrender tomorrow.
Love and light to you always,
Heather M. Larribas
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